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What was going on here? I had married Michael to escape Julia and what she did to me, but I had somehow landed in the same situation all over again? Why won't my body let me stand up to him? Am I so afraid of confrontation?Finally, my stomach settled down enough for me to wash up and return to the bedroom."Well?" Michael arched his eyes at me.I stared at the ground, knowing what I had to say, but desperately not wanting to give in to him on this. "Yes, Michael. OK, I'll do it ... for you." Good girl," he said, with a smile. "I bet that once you get used to your new look, you'll really like dressing up more!"And so I meekly did as instructed. It took a couple of tries to get it right, but eventually I ended up with a new set of blouses and shirts which were sufficiently revealing. I learned to search on the internet for 'deep V', 'deep scoop', or 'plunging' necklines. My closet now contained a whole range of tight, clingy, stretchy ribbed T-shirts (with deep scoop necklines), silk. I have to be honest and say that being liberated for the first time was a rather pleasing experience.Joe steered me towards the new building."Well what do you think the only thing missing is the cross above the door?" He turned towards me and smiled. The villagers had built me a church.Over several months, I become very much like the other women, even my colour changed to be almost the same as theirs. Thanks mainly to Maria I was learning their language. It was late in the year when the monsoons came I had never known rain like it.Maria and I took shelter in the church. Suddenly a violent thunderstorm arrived from the west coast. I had a fear of thunder, Maria hugged me tightly in a reassuring sort of way, but our slits were pressed firmly against each other. I was on fire, I knew from my teachings at the convent that my thoughts and feelings were wrong, but I could not suppress them.Maria did for me the most wonderful things. Ironic, my first sexual experience was not with a man but.
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